Distance

A void in my heart.
Deep, vast. I can barely breathe.
Freeze. I cannot move.
Tears falling down my cheeks.
I hurt him, so he closed down.
Distance.
Will he ever open up again?
I feel scared. I feel scared.

The right to exist

Did I do something wrong?
Did I… do something wrong? Did I?
… I did… right?

They left me. People… they… left me.
No. I‘m withdrawing before it can even start.
But why? Why am I doing that? Am I afraid?
Afraid of what? Afraid of being lynched?
Afraid of being driven away?
Afraid of losing myself? Afraid to… die?
Am I afraid? Yes… Yes, I am. I am scared. more “The right to exist”

2nd Audio Message

I talk about my pain and the value of vulnerability

A message to a dear past friend

Mamoru… Where are you? Why did you go? What happened? Why did you reject me without explaining it to me? You told my cousin, I would have clung too much and that you couldn’t handle the way I was or maybe how I still am.

Thinking of you, I feel safe, imagining being in your arms, knowing though that you wouldn’t want to embrace me like that. Am I abusing you when I am doing that nonetheless? Mamoru… I need you… so much. I need your protection, your understanding, and your confidence, your faithfulness. more “A message to a dear past friend”

1st Audio Message

Introducing myself and sharing my thoughts and emotions