You're gone anew. Tell me. Where are you going, when you leave? Are you coming back? I never know. I never know. Oh! You are back! You are, right? Say, you aren't leaving again, are you? You are here, you say. But for how long? In a blink of an eye, you left again. Are you coming back? I never know. I never know. As I await your return.
Did I do something wrong?
Did I… do something wrong? Did I?
… I did… right?
…
They left me. People… they… left me.
No. I‘m withdrawing before it can even start.
But why? Why am I doing that? Am I afraid?
Afraid of what? Afraid of being lynched?
Afraid of being driven away?
Afraid of losing myself? Afraid to… die?
Am I afraid? Yes… Yes, I am. I am scared. more “The right to exist”
Mamoru… Where are you? Why did you go? What happened? Why did you reject me without explaining it to me? You told my cousin, I would have clung too much and that you couldn’t handle the way I was or maybe how I still am.
Thinking of you, I feel safe, imagining being in your arms, knowing though that you wouldn’t want to embrace me like that. Am I abusing you when I am doing that nonetheless? Mamoru… I need you… so much. I need your protection, your understanding, and your confidence, your faithfulness. more “A message to a dear past friend”
What is this place? It's dark. Dark. Hey! Do you know where I am? No answer to hear... Silence. Utter, empty silence. Breathe. I have to breathe. Going forward in darkness. Every breath feels heavy. But I have to breathe. Breathe. And another step forward. Forward. In darkness.