Gone

You're gone anew.
Tell me. Where are you going, when you leave?
Are you coming back? 
I never know.
I never know.
Oh! You are back!
You are, right?
Say, you aren't leaving again, are you?
You are here, you say.
But for how long?
In a blink of an eye, you left again.
Are you coming back? 
I never know.
I never know.
As I await your return.

The right to exist

Did I do something wrong?
Did I… do something wrong? Did I?
… I did… right?

They left me. People… they… left me.
No. I‘m withdrawing before it can even start.
But why? Why am I doing that? Am I afraid?
Afraid of what? Afraid of being lynched?
Afraid of being driven away?
Afraid of losing myself? Afraid to… die?
Am I afraid? Yes… Yes, I am. I am scared. more “The right to exist”

2nd Audio Message

I talk about my pain and the value of vulnerability

A message to a dear past friend

Mamoru… Where are you? Why did you go? What happened? Why did you reject me without explaining it to me? You told my cousin, I would have clung too much and that you couldn’t handle the way I was or maybe how I still am.

Thinking of you, I feel safe, imagining being in your arms, knowing though that you wouldn’t want to embrace me like that. Am I abusing you when I am doing that nonetheless? Mamoru… I need you… so much. I need your protection, your understanding, and your confidence, your faithfulness. more “A message to a dear past friend”

Darkness

What is this place?
It's dark. Dark.
Hey! Do you know where I am?
No answer to hear...
Silence. Utter, empty silence.
Breathe. I have to breathe.
Going forward in darkness.
Every breath feels heavy.
But I have to breathe. Breathe.
And another step forward. Forward.
In darkness.